THE SCIENCE™ PAGE
Compartir
Our Research & Development Process
At Placebo & Co., we take a rigorous approach to product development. By "rigorous," we mean we spent approximately 20 minutes writing product descriptions and zero minutes formulating anything.
Our R&D Timeline:
- Years of research: 0
- Clinical trials conducted: 0
- Peer-reviewed studies: 0
- Lab hours invested: 0
- Results achieved: Consistently none
Quality Standards
FDA Approval:
The FDA doesn't approve dietary supplements before they go to market. Lucky for us, because we'd fail on the "actually existing" requirement.
Third-Party Testing:
We subjected our products to rigorous third-party analysis. Results confirmed: nothing to test.
GMP Certification:
Good Manufacturing Practices require that products be manufactured. We've cleverly avoided this entire compliance burden.
Purity Testing:
Our supplements are 100% pure. Pure imagination, that is.
The Placebo Effect: Real Science
Here's the twist: the placebo effect is actually real.
Studies show that when people believe they're taking something beneficial, measurable physiological changes can occur. Pain decreases. Mood improves. Symptoms reduce. Not because of the pill; because of the belief.
Some actual facts:
- Placebo painkillers can trigger endorphin release
- Placebo antidepressants show 30-40% efficacy in trials
- Even placebo surgeries have demonstrated benefits
- The color, size, and price of a pill affects its perceived efficacy
Our contribution to this science: Absolutely nothing. But we acknowledge it's fascinating.
Our Proprietary Formulations™
Each Placebo & Co. product features our exclusive blend of:
Active Ingredients: None
Inactive Ingredients: Also none
Fillers: Zero
Binders: Nada
Allergens: Can't be allergic to nothing
GMOs: Genetically modified organisms require organisms
Bioavailability: N/A (nothing to absorb)
Half-life: Infinite (because it never existed)
Contraindications: None (can't interact with medication that isn't there)
Clinical Claims We're NOT Making
Unlike most supplement brands, we won't tell you our products:
- Support immune function*
- Promote gut health*
- Enhance cognitive performance*
- Improve sleep quality*
- Boost energy levels*
- Support healthy aging*
*Because they don't exist and therefore can't support anything.
The Real Science Here
What you're actually seeing is the science of:
Marketing Strategy:
- Customer segmentation and journey mapping
- Email flow architecture and automation
- Zero-party data collection via quizzes
- Retention mechanics and win-back campaigns
Copywriting:
- Benefit-focused product descriptions
- Brand voice development and consistency
- Objection handling and value articulation
- Conversion-optimized CTAs
E-commerce Operations:
- Shopify store setup and theming
- Klaviyo integration and personalization
- Product catalog architecture
- Customer lifecycle management
That's the real expertise on display here. Not supplement formulation. CRM strategy.
Our "Lab"
Location: A laptop
Equipment: Shopify, Klaviyo, too much coffee
Staff: One person learning retention frameworks
Safety protocols: Excellent (impossible to have lab accidents without a lab)
Peer Review
Our products have been reviewed by:
- Zero scientists
- Zero doctors
- Zero nutritionists
- Several bemused recruiters
- One very confused hiring manager
Consensus: "This is either brilliant or insane, and we're not sure which."
The Bottom Line
Most supplement brands hide behind vague science, cherry-picked studies, and asterisks leading to disclaimers. We're hiding behind nothing—because we have nothing to hide.
Our promise: 100% transparency about having 0% product.
If you're looking for actual supplements, please consult actual supplement brands and your actual doctor.
If you're here to see how someone structures a DTC brand, builds customer flows, and writes compelling copy: welcome. This is the science that actually matters.
Questions about our methodology?
We have answers (mostly jokes).
Want to see the Klaviyo flows behind this?
Connect with the person who built this. They're open to work.
Placebo & Co. Where the only thing clinically proven is our understanding of email marketing.